Start of my record

Dear Diary,

This is the start of my blog "From Bryan on Departure"

I have just been released from prison today.

I've lost precious time...

Everyone seems to evolved into new states of lives, moving on from where they had been since I've last been in this society, everyone is either married, has new career, new relationships, new life, new country, new everything.

Everyone has progressed, everyone did a good job on their own journey.
While I'm left behind....

For 1362 days, I've been left behind
For 1362 days, I've gone to hell back & forth.
For 1362 days, I stay stuck in the same spot if not backwards.
For 1362 days, I was stuck in a parallel universe frozen in a time cage where a minute seems like an hour while an hour seems like a minute outside here.
For 1362 days, I have been getting worse each day on my sanity.

After 1362 days, I am no longer sane anymore.

But truth is that, I've already fallen into what I already am since 2018 when I came back to Yangon..

It's been 7 years since I've been truly happy, or fine even.

But now, it has evolved to such a dreadful state that I no longer want to live anymore.

I have given up on myself.

To my family members, I am sorry for making this decision...
To mom & dad, thank you for everything you've done for me since birth, you guys had been the most amazing parents I could ever ask for. This has nothing to do with you guys, it's just that I've lost the battle against myself. 

Devil in my head got the better of me & I could no longer control it anymore.

I can no longer hear myself through all the voices in my head that haunts me every second of my life.
It just keeps getting worse & worse & worse & worse & worse that it doesn't make any sense to even be living anymore.

I can no longer tolerate any of this anymore & silence that awaits me is all that I look forward to at the end of this race.

The end of the tunnel looks so peaceful.

From,
Bryan

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